A while ago in therapy I was told to write a love letter to myself. At the time I thought the notion seemed kind of silly... but perhaps I was just wasn’t ready to let go and find the beauty in my flaws. Last week, I was watching a video over on Create the Love (an account I urge you to start following) about finding your wholeness and Mark said he sat down with all the past versions of himself to figure out the lessons he learned and to gain self acceptance... which got me thinking about finally writing a letter to myself.
This past week I have really been struggling; I am experiencing many changes in my personal and home life (more on that later) which have left me feeling a vast void in my heart. I decided that a good first step forward is to accept who I am and where I am at on this journey with myself.
You are one of those rare people that gives 100% of your self regardless of the circumstance and will often put it all on the line for the people and things you care about the most. You have lived through more hurt, pain and destruction than most people will in multiple lifetimes and you have proven that you are so much braver than you give yourself credit for.
You love people fiercely and will fight for the ones you love often to your own detriment but you’ve never let that stop you from loving and seeking out the good in people. When there is something you don't like about a person, you look into their soul and find something you can relate to and understand so you can find a common ground... a personality trait that you often feel goes overlooked, but has made you very successful in the business world.
Cherish your amazing ability to forgive and to keep pushing forward but you mustn’t be afraid to forgive yourself for allowing the people close to you to break your heart and at times your spirit. The hurt people have caused you is not your fault and you cannot allow yourself to take on their burden. Forgive yourself for allowing people to not be gentle with your heart and soul, for tolerating and accepting their low-accountability behavior and realize that while they sought pleasure in splintering your self-worth that it taught you valuable lessons about yourself.
You are smart and talented and have proven time and time again that with patience and hard work you can accomplish anything -- from building multiple businesses, to putting yourself through school, to reconstructing your life after your divorce you have never let anything get in your way. You are a true problem solver and stay humble in your successes. You never brag or boost and you believe your achievements are simply part of your life experience.
Always seeking to have fun, laugh and smile, people close to you describe you as the life of the party. You like this version of yourself but it often holds you back. You are often scared that you will only been seen as a "good time" and that people won't take you seriously, a reality that has rung true time and time again, because you to hide the dark and wounded parts of you. Remember that quality friends and partners will embrace you for who you are and you should not be afraid to live in your truth.
Even during your darkest struggles you don't seek out to intentionally hurt others but you are able to recognize that in times of self-sabotage you have hurt people you value. You are able to elegantly accept your failures and you always attempt to improve yourself to be the friend or partner those people deserve. While its difficult for you to sometimes get out of your own way, you value the people close to you and never want to be the source of their strife.
You are burdened by a heavy heart, and often times it feels like its an anchor making sure don't drift too far but recognize that is an illusion. The heaviness you feel is fear that people won’t truly see you for the person you are inside. You fear that you will be "too much" and in turn you undersell your self as not enough, a paradox you built out of survival. Understand that people can only revel in your beauty, tenacity and strength if you allow yourself to open up that part of you.
You are worthy of giving and receiving love, you are worthy of happiness, you are worthy of your friendships, successes and even your failures. It is difficult to not become jaded by your experiences and circumstances and to lead with compassion but that part of you is what others admire the most. Continue to live and love freely and wholly so that you can be open to all the beautiful things this life has to offer you. And remember it doesn't matter if it scares you, DO IT ANYWAYS.
So there you have it... sitting down and facing your strengths and flaws is not easy but there is something powerful in living your truth, accepting the person you have become and making the choice to move past the things that have been holding us back from experiencing true unadulterated joy. Reflecting on my letter, one of the lessons I learned through writing this piece to myself is that often times the things we ourselves see as strengths are actually weaknesses -- some sort of behavior we have adopted as a way to survive or cope with the hand we've been dealt.
If you are struggling to accept something in your life, I encourage to you sit down and write a letter to yourself. Allow yourself to let go and move forward.